As another new mum's post about their struggle with getting a new baby to slip into a routine does the rounds on my social media account - I cant help but wonder what it would be like if we all parented with our eyes shut?... not literally of-course, but without the help of Google, TV, social media, this new book on how to train your child or this 'style' of parenting that the mum at baby club spoke about.
What would happen if we just began to parent by listening to our instincts? Winging it!
OK I know we develop our understanding by learning from others but I cant help but feel that we are being over taken by 'designer parenting' where everything has a label, a style and a hardcore following.
So what do I mean?
According to the groups i'm active in on social media i'm a 'Gentle Parent', 'Baby Wearing' mum, I have been a 'co-sleeper' I 'EBF' I have had months of hoping we could have a 'No Cry Solution' and in the end used a mixture of 'responsive settling' and 'sleep cues'... I tried 'Baby Led Weaning' 'Baby Sensory' 'Baby Signing' 'Baby Rambling' (which was ace I might add!) I am a 'HypnoBirther' a 'HomeBirther' Everything I do as a parent has a label, need I go on...
I am not suggesting that any of these methods or styles of parenting are bad (or good!) however when I ditched the 'designer' labels of parenting and just went with whatever worked for our family, for that situation in those circumstances, I found life a lot easier and much more positive.
I may have tried a bit of one, a little of another & ditched some things altogether. But best of all was that I threw away the feeling about being judged as a parent. 2nd time round I knew that the decisions we were making on how to bring up our children were informed, not perfect but followed because of knowledge we had gained. We were much more relaxed, we did things when it felt correct, we put the baby to sleep in a way we thought was best for her, and had no room for worrying about 'am I doing it right'.
My mum's best words when I had my first baby and found things really tough was ; "What-ever is right for you, is right for baby" I didn't ever manage to put that in to practice until I had my 2nd. I haven't told her yet that she was right!
The good news, new mamas, is that if you are reading this or any other blog on how other people advise you to do things, you are doing the best for your baby, and you are doing at great job at it to! :) x