Why you don't need to set a New Year's Resolution - you are already enough!
December 22, 2016
Almost every New Years resolution starts with two words; 'I will'. We set goals and imagine how happy we will be when we get what we want. These goals are very rarely achieved and in some cases our pledge to quit or change ourselves in some way doesn't last very long.
In our last yoga class of 2016 I asked the new mums to set an intention for the class. In yoga there is a tradition to set not a resolution but a different alternative that can be used also at New Year - to look for a resolve; the practise of Sankalpa.
Sankalpa starts from the premise that we already are enough, we already have within us everything that is needed to reach our ultimate purpose. This way of thinking is everything I teach my yoga mums or my Hypnobirthing couples. I frequently tell them " There is nothing new to learn, you have it all within you"
A Sankalpa can take two forms, firstly as a heart felt desire, a statement that reflects your true nature. 'I am loving' 'I am whole' 'I am peace itself' For a mum to bee I would ask them to think about the nature of the human being they already are - someone who loves, cares , accepts, supports perhaps.
The second form of a Sankalpa is the intention, which is guided by the heart felt desire or the persons true nature. It is the steps you must take to reach that ultimate purpose.
For me my Sankalpa for 2017 is "I am a loving and supportive mother". The steps I must take to realise that essence are perhaps to listen, be attentive, show love and affection and give guidance. There is no room for 'I will not's' or 'I should do more of..' as I already am that supportive mother deep inside - I must just allow it to come to the surface.
When preparing for birth we use affirmations; positive statements to embed our clear positive beliefs into the subconscious and make them habitual. Perhaps when choosing your affirmations you may look to the tradition of Sankalpa and work out what you already are - as a capable strong mother in waiting - and what steps you must take to ensure that comes to light?
An example may be - 'I am natural and I am strong' as your intention. The steps might be ' I am preparing my body physically to maintain its strength' and 'I am learning about the natural course of labour' to give evidence to your thoughts.
A Sankalpa isn't a petition or a prayer, it is a statement of deeply held fact. A vow that is true in the present moment.
So this New Year, don't waste time on a resolution to change yourself or to stop doing something, instead look deeper and understand what it is you are ultimately wanting to achieve. If in 2017 your goal is to 'loose weight' or to 'get fit' instead ask yourself how you will feel when you get there? What will life be like when you do? Will the result be a feeling of self love? Of physical well-being? Or even freedom?
Sankalpa = an alternative New Years resolution. One that you already ARE.